The Conversations That Come First
Many of you have likely seen the news out of Cornell University, where a former student has filed a lawsuit alleging she was sexually assaulted by multiple members of a fraternity at a party in 2024. The case has sparked protests, an independent review of how the university responded, and the appointment of New York’s attorney general as special prosecutor. The legal process is still unfolding, and no one has been criminally charged. Whatever comes next, our hearts are with her and with every survivor who sees their own story in headlines like this one.
We won’t try to make sense of something this painful in a few paragraphs. But it does bring us back to a question at the heart of our work: what are we teaching young people long before they ever walk into that party?
For generations, prevention advice has been aimed mostly at girls and women. Watch your drink. Don’t walk alone. Be careful what you wear. Those messages put the responsibility on the people being harmed. Real prevention asks something different. It asks every young person, and especially boys and young men, to understand consent, to see others as fully human, and to know that respect is not optional when no one is watching.
It also asks them to speak up. Harm like this rarely happens in a vacuum. It grows in cultures where a crude joke in a group chat goes unchallenged, where staying quiet feels easier than standing out, and where no one ever practiced what to say when something feels wrong. Those small silences are rarely meant to hurt anyone. Their consequences can be devastating anyway.
That is why these conversations can’t wait until college. They start with the basics, naming feelings, respecting “no,” and asking permission, and they grow into the harder ones: what consent really means, how to check on a friend, and how to step in when something isn’t right.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or online at rainn.org.